I had a conversation the other day in which I posed the controversial question of “can you think of one person that you know that you would describe as completely stable, with no hint of a mental health problem?”, the person I was asking looked puzzled and thought for well over 2 minutes. “I actually can’t”.

What is stable? What are we all meant to feel like? Is there a pattern of behaviour that’s right? Or is it just that society has made us believe that there are certain behaviours which put you in the “normal and stable category”. As discussed in a previous post, I don’t believe in “The Face of Depression”. I believe we all have a face, and that face tells nothing of what’s on the inside.

‘Mental health’ and ‘mental illness’ are increasingly being used as if they mean the same thing, they don’t. Everyone has mental health, just like everyone has health. In the course of a lifetime, not all people will experience a mental illness, but absolutely everyone will struggle or have a challenge with their mental well-being (a.k.a, their mental health) either continuously or for a period of time, just like everyone will have challenges with their physical well-being from time to time.

Health isn’t like an on/off switch. There are different degrees of health. People move on a continuum ranging from great or good health to so-so health to poor health to illness or disability. Some people have serious health problems that last for a long time, and others have serious health problems that resolve very quickly. Many people fall somewhere in the middle—they’re generally in good health, though the occasional problem may come up. Mental Health works in exactly the same way, and I struggle to understand why it’s still not viewed in the same light.

Just as someone who feels unwell may not have a serious illness, people may have poor mental health without a mental illness. We all have days where we feel a bit down, or stressed out, or overwhelmed by something that’s happening in our lives. Good mental health isn’t about feeling happy and confident 100% of time and ignoring any problems. It’s about living and coping well despite problems.

I do recognise that I have struggled with my Mental Health for a very long time. But I know I’m not an acute case, a rare case or even a particularly severe one. I know that there are so many people struggling through a mental health journey. Alone. I also know it is in no ones interest to treat the entire population as if they were mentally ill, they save that treatment, most of the time, until you’re truly on the edge. But what if it was different? What if struggling with your mental health wasn’t something that you miraculously found out about someone or “didn’t expect” from someone. What if it was viewed just a part of our make up, and needed as much maintenance as getting our hair cut, and keeping it in check was as normal as doing the weekly food shop.

I don’t think that everyone with a worry, a concern or going through a tough time needs to see a specialist or a professional. But it wouldn’t hurt for us all to start taking care of ourselves a bit better. For us all to start taking care of each other. If we spoke about our struggles more, we could maybe begin to normalise it. Speak up, speak out, I can assure you that no one is going to be too surprised, marginally because they are probably feeling the same way. Let’s start talking about our mental health in the nail salon, when passing on the street, and when out for lunch. Let’s not settle for the answer “I’m fine”. Let’s be honest. Let’s be understanding and for god sake let’s be kind. None of us are stable, stable isn’t a thing, darling.

Hang in there.

Ellen on the Edge xx