I’m a tactile person. Not everyone is a hugger. Hugs can feel awkward or uncomfortable for some people… but I tell you what, not for me.

In the current COVID times, greetings are no longer by handshakes, hugs or kisses on the cheek. An “elbow bump” is the preferred pandemic greeting. (Just FYI, a hug or kiss on the cheek is normally my go too, I have a shit handshake). But either way. It’s not good enough, it’s really painful, I want a BIG FAT CUDDLE.

Our first contact in life is essentially the hug; newborn babies are constantly cradled, nursed and cuddled. (Dream). We are literally born to be huggers.

We are to be honest, principally social creatures, and this need for human contact continues into childhood and adulthood. “Do you need a hug” is a phrase used to comfort people throughout life, as well as break awkward silences, even.

However, over the last few months of not being allowed to hug, I have held on to the memories of the hugs of those I love. My close female friends’ hugs feel so natural. Their bodies fall easily into alignment with mine like puzzle pieces that click together on the first try. I sometimes go in for a tight squeeze when I haven’t seen one of them for what feels like too long. My sister’s hug is quite tight and usually punctuated with a little peck on the cheek, which makes me laugh, and want to cry, every time. My parent’s hugs feel like a welcome home. I could stay in them forever. Lately, I have been trying to feel all of them – as best as I can without actually experiencing them. It’s a bit hard.

My mental health does rely heavily on comfort, fortunately or unfortunately. I am lucky that I seek a lot of this through speaking, through speaking out and chatting with friends. But I have to be honest, a cuddle is what always saves me.

I do know that I will one day hug again outside of my bubble. We all will. I only hope we are not so scarred from our current existence of social distancing, that we become frightened at the thought of giving each other a good old squeeze. I really hope not.

So.. with that in mind… a full on warning to friends and family and perhaps even strangers out there. When I can hug again, I am coming out in full force. I may never sample cheese at the deli counter in Sainsbury’s again, and using a public bathroom will surely take some time, but I am coming in for those hugs – hard and for way too long. You’re welcome.

I really miss cuddles, do you?

Hang in there.

Ellen on the Edge xx