Right, the following is going to sound like such a rant. And in short… it is. But I feel the need to air this, not even from a mental health perspective, but to speak up and out for those of us who feel all of the things, but feel them really hard.

I’m going to tell you a secret. It’s a secret that has taken me a bloody long time to even just partially figure out. If you are frequently accused of being emotional, sensitive, or weak, I can assure you that is proof that you are the exact opposite! Being able to feel as much as we do on a daily basis would bring a conventional tough guy to his knees in an instant.

Maybe that doesn’t matter to you in the slightest, but my entire life, has been spent thinking I am somehow defective. Thinking I needed to toughen up and not be so “overly sensitive.” I used to wish for some kind of normalcy and marvel at my friends’ easygoingness. I thought there was something wrong with me, something I needed to work hard on correcting. And often still do.

As it turns out, and what I have decided is that it’s not a defect at all; it’s a diamond in the rough.

Interestingly when I am writing, I like to do some research around what other people have written, I don’t really want to write the same thing, but I also find it interesting to see if anyone else feels the same. Now… when I typed my title of this post into google… the results came up unanimously with “how not to take things personally” – and other variants. WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL. Why are we forcing people to push their feelings away, to “harden up”, or to suppress. It’s not fair, and it’s encouraging a world where we aren’t able to express ourselves authentically.

Sensitivity in my opinion, is perhaps the most underrated quality in the world. It’s too often associated with fragility and weakness when it’s actually a tremendous strength. Why the fuck should we not be taking things personally, why shouldn’t we be emotional, why shouldn’t we feel what we feel. No one should EVER be able to tell us not to feel something. Regardless of whether someone is intending to make you feel a certain way… the fact that you feel it, is no less validated.

Whilst it may not be our responsibility to apologise to someone who is “taking something personally” or being “over emotional” about something, remember, that is your perspective. You must recognise that their feelings cannot be changed. Whether we like it or not.

I will openly admit that I take things personally, and whether this is exaggerated by Billy or not, I’ve started to not be ashamed of it. Unfortunately, I cannot change how I feel. And someone telling you, you are over-emotional, can sometimes be the cherry on top of a very unpleasant cake.

You take those things personally babes. You’re a person, be vulnerable, it’s an important quality. And some people… well some people are just dicks.

Hang in there.

Ellen on the Edge xx