Every blog post I have posted in the past couple of years has started with the fact that I have not posted in a while. I am sad I haven’t, but I have always said I know when it’s right and wont ever force my writing. I write when I need to, I have never bought into the posting once a week. It doesn’t achieve anything, and as I have said before, this has always been for me; with an added bonus that it sometimes resonates with people.

I suppose I am posting right now because I am struggling a bit. My life has changed dramatically recently. Everything I had planned for my future has suddenly changed. It was a choice that I made, and one that didn’t come easy, but nevertheless one that I made for myself.

It’s funny how life can change in an instant, without any warning. One moment, you’re in a routine, comfortable, and almost certain about the path you’re on, and the next, it feels like that path splits in two. And suddenly, you’re standing at a crossroads, unsure of what to do next. That’s how it felt when I found myself needing to let go of something I never thought I would have to.

I always imagined when I was in my teens, that by the time I hit 30, I’d have it all figured out. My career would be solid, I’d be financially stable, and I’d be living in my own place, probably with a few plants and a cozy sofa, married and have children. But life doesn’t always go according to plan. I have a stable career. But financially stable is something I have never been, I can barely keep my cheese plant alive, my sofa is in a storage container, and marriage and children now feel like a long way off. So basically, I found myself, a few months ago, packing up my stuff and moving back home to my parents’ house.

Let’s be clear: I never expected to be in this situation. It feels like a plot twist in my adulting story. But as I’ve settled in, I’ve realized that this move doesn’t mean I’ve failed—it’s just another chapter in my journey. Moving back home has been a mix of surprising perks and difficult adjustments. I am extremely lucky to have parents that are unbelievably forgiving and so supportive.

I don’t have a neat conclusion to this short story about what’s been going on with me, because, honestly, I’m still figuring it out. But I’ve come to realize that life, is constantly shifting, evolving. It’s okay to not have it all figured out. I’m learning to trust myself in this new space, to embrace the unknown, and to understand that it’s okay to let go of something that doesn’t align with who you are anymore.

In time, I’m hopeful that the things I let go of will make space for new growth, new experiences, and new connections—things I can’t even begin to imagine yet. But for now, I’m learning to sit with the discomfort, to honor the journey, and to trust that change, however difficult, is often the very thing that leads us toward the life we’re meant to live.

If you feel this, I am sorry, but also, we got this. You got this.

Hang in there. 

Ellen on the Edge xx