Blueness Isn’t Just for Monday

Blue Monday is, as they call it in America a “PR stunt” that was actually originally dreamed up to sell holidays. (Trivia: Blue Monday was created in 2006). It is a myth, a false calculation based on things like the gloomy weather, post-Christmas debt, disappointment from not keeping new year’s resolutions, dissatisfaction about going back to work and general doom and gloom. Since then it has become a rather tedious yearly PR event, often designed to promote things that are vaguely linked to improving our wellbeing, more often than not with a complete lack of evidence. I have looked it up and you know what… no actual scientific studies have ever backed up any claims about Blue Monday.

The whole notion of Blue Monday, which suggests there is a single day when depression somehow ‘strikes’ more than usual, feeds misinformation around mental illness. The fact of the matter is that people live with depression all year around. It is a serious illness that is a causal factor in suicide – the biggest killer of people under the age of 29, globally.

So why the FUCK (sorry mum), despite the fact I’m an advocate for “loads of days can be hard”, do I always feel this one. Why do people struggle on this day, and every day. Why the hell did I think I was going to burst out crying around 12pm today?! (I don’t know why, and it didn’t last long). Weird, isn’t it. Especially if it’s a PR stunt.

I know why it is though, I think I was just having a wobbly day, I temporarily felt a bit sad and someone naming it “a depressing day” allowed that feeling to take hold a little more.

The truth is that we all have mental health, and whether it is Blue Monday or any of the other 364 days this year; we will all face days when we find it hard to cope for whatever reason. This week, one in six of us will experience a common mental health problem like anxiety or depression. In our workplaces and in our circles of friends, there are people living with mental health problems, or just keeping themselves afloat, whether we know it or not.

The Blue Monday myth – like all good legends – has some elements of truth. We know that some people living with mental health problems find the winter months harder. If the Blue Monday hype has drawn your attention to your mental health, or made you think about how a friend, colleague, or loved one might be feeling then it has done some good.

I know it is pointless to try and identify what the most depressing day of the year is because it would be different for each one of us. As different as each person’s circumstances are. And it is also important to distinguish between temporarily feeling down, which we all relate to from time to time, and experiencing depression or a mental health problem that can be quite disabling for our day to day lives. This is something I could drone on about all day, and probably gets boring.

This year, perhaps more than any other year in recent memory, the need and importance for us all to look after our mental health and support each other at this time, is clear and urgent.

Perhaps the true meaning of Blue Monday is that we all have mental health and that there are steps that we can take on every day of the year to try and protect it. We should not just be thinking about our mental health on 17th January this year, but on every day of the year. Depression and other mental health problems last for more than a day. And mental health problems can affect people in different ways on any day of the year.

I hope your day and your week is filled with all of the colours of the rainbow, blue included.

After all, blueness isn’t just for Monday.

Hang in there.

Ellen on the Edge xx

Everyone on the Edge # 3 – Effie’s Story: I am on the Edge

It’s here! Everyone on the Edge has been a project I’ve wanted to do for a long time. I am so overwhelmed with the response I have had and hope that this series will encourage more of you to open up. It’s an absolute honour to read and share your stories and help people recognise that truly, everyone really is on the Edge.

I would like to introduce my third guest writer, Effie. Effie and I have know each other for over 20 years. We have flown in and out of each other’s lives, but our connection has always been as strong as it was on day 1. We had a friendship when we were young that we decided would never be able to be broken, that was an agreement I don’t think we have ever truly broke. We understood each other, I know that now. And this piece represents everything I have always loved and respected about her, I am so thankful that she has written a piece for Everyone on the Edge. It is brief, but powerful and I am in awe of her honesty. Thanks Eff, the floor is yours, darling….

When I picture the ‘edge’ in my mind as a visual, I have always thought of it as a cliff edge. Like I am teetering on the edge, safety behind me, and the scary unknown depths of some kind of mental health catastrophe in front. It has always been one or the other. And I have always had the safety of stepping sideways along the cliff edge. Maintaining some kind of middle ground until I feel strong enough to step back to safety, or lose my footing and fall forward and let it engulf me.

Lately it feels different though. 

It feels more like I am stood on a totem pole. A fucking wobbly one. If I shut my eyes, concentrate and stay very still then I can balance. But it takes all my energy. Everything I’ve got to stop myself from falling off the edge. And the direction I could fall isn’t just forwards. It’s all around me. If you had a birds eye view it would be like someone kind of mental health pie chart. What will I fall into?

Anxiety
Depression
ADHD
Panic

And don’t get me wrong. There are good slices of this pie too:

Joy
Calm
Productivity
Content

They are the small slices right now. Or one combined slice. The last slice of the pie that I am too scared to eat because then it’ll all be gone.

I know I will get back to a safer space. My platform will get bigger, big enough for me to open my eyes. Big enough for me to walk around, look and appreciate the good stuff. The joy and calm slices of the pie will get bigger, big enough that I don’t have to worry about it being the last slice. I can enjoy it now and maybe again tomorrow. 

I’ve dealt with this shit for so many years, that I know in my heart it will get better. I can tell myself it WILL get better. Sometimes I have to shout it over the thoughts racing around my head. It’s tough, but I know now that it doesn’t last forever. It doesn’t make it easier, to be honest, sometimes it makes it harder. If I KNOW it gets easier, why can’t I just make it easier now? Why do I have to suffer. 

Why do we all have to suffer. 

But in the words of Ellen, we all hang in there.

Please, hang in there.

If you wish to contribute to Everyone on the Edge, please send your piece along with a picture to ellenontheedge@gmail.com