Category: suicide prevention

She’s Back

Ellen Thomas1 Comment

ERM…. HELLO! 

Well blow me down, the website, social media pages or blog hasn’t been deleted.

So let’s just get it out of the way now shall we…. the elephant in the room; let’s get back to some writing…

I’ve been gone, I deserted EOTE without even realising it. It wasn’t intentional, and I think that’s the point. I always did and will continue to use EOTE for selfish reasons. I never did it for click bait/praise or for anyone else. It was always for me, and helped me dissect and work through thoughts. I have always found that writing things down is therapy for me. It’s a way of expressing myself and helps me in a way that nothing else does. The fact that people did and have resonated with it, is just a true bonus for me. I have had people comment that they haven’t seen any posts from me in a long time, and I haven’t been able to put my finger on it. Or work out why the absolute need to write hasn’t been there.

Truth be told, I wrote a lot when I wasn’t okay. I wrote in despair, in anger, in loneliness. But I love writing, I haven’t been prioritising it and I think it’s a good time for me to try and start again. I think I need it. Whilst everything is pretty good in my life at the moment, I probably could do with having a bit of therapy again, and I know that EOTE is that for me. A lot has happened in the last 14 months, a LOT of change. (I recovered from being hit by a car, which was the last post). I don’t usually manage change that well, but I feel like I have done my best. Whilst I won’t bore you with the details of the last 14 months in this post (it’s mostly been good), I am prepared to start sharing again. And hopefully this time, it’s not from a place of despair, or loneliness… it’s from a place of passion. It’s from a place of writing with purpose, and from a place of sharing when I am and am not on the edge, as it always has been.

Life has been so hard for so many people recently, and has been for a lot of people in my life, and I am feeling it too, so maybe EOTE will be a nice thing to see? Who knows.

So, that’s it from me at the moment, this was me explaining… not just to you, but too myself why I have been away, why I haven’t been investing time in doing something I truly love.

I started furiously typing this randomly, I wrote it in one sitting, in 10 minutes, with no editing, I wrote it straight from my head. I know that’s the right time to bring it back.

(And as the catchphrase and end of the blog has and will always end…) Hang in there.

Ellen on the Edge xx

 

 

Blueness Isn’t Just for Monday

Ellen ThomasLeave a comment

Blue Monday is, as they call it in America a “PR stunt” that was actually originally dreamed up to sell holidays. (Trivia: Blue Monday was created in 2006). It is a myth, a false calculation based on things like the gloomy weather, post-Christmas debt, disappointment from not keeping new year’s resolutions, dissatisfaction about going back to work and general doom and gloom. Since then it has become a rather tedious yearly PR event, often designed to promote things that are vaguely linked to improving our wellbeing, more often than not with a complete lack of evidence. I have looked it up and you know what… no actual scientific studies have ever backed up any claims about Blue Monday.

The whole notion of Blue Monday, which suggests there is a single day when depression somehow ‘strikes’ more than usual, feeds misinformation around mental illness. The fact of the matter is that people live with depression all year around. It is a serious illness that is a causal factor in suicide – the biggest killer of people under the age of 29, globally.

So why the FUCK (sorry mum), despite the fact I’m an advocate for “loads of days can be hard”, do I always feel this one. Why do people struggle on this day, and every day. Why the hell did I think I was going to burst out crying around 12pm today?! (I don’t know why, and it didn’t last long). Weird, isn’t it. Especially if it’s a PR stunt.

I know why it is though, I think I was just having a wobbly day, I temporarily felt a bit sad and someone naming it “a depressing day” allowed that feeling to take hold a little more.

The truth is that we all have mental health, and whether it is Blue Monday or any of the other 364 days this year; we will all face days when we find it hard to cope for whatever reason. This week, one in six of us will experience a common mental health problem like anxiety or depression. In our workplaces and in our circles of friends, there are people living with mental health problems, or just keeping themselves afloat, whether we know it or not.

The Blue Monday myth – like all good legends – has some elements of truth. We know that some people living with mental health problems find the winter months harder. If the Blue Monday hype has drawn your attention to your mental health, or made you think about how a friend, colleague, or loved one might be feeling then it has done some good.

I know it is pointless to try and identify what the most depressing day of the year is because it would be different for each one of us. As different as each person’s circumstances are. And it is also important to distinguish between temporarily feeling down, which we all relate to from time to time, and experiencing depression or a mental health problem that can be quite disabling for our day to day lives. This is something I could drone on about all day, and probably gets boring.

This year, perhaps more than any other year in recent memory, the need and importance for us all to look after our mental health and support each other at this time, is clear and urgent.

Perhaps the true meaning of Blue Monday is that we all have mental health and that there are steps that we can take on every day of the year to try and protect it. We should not just be thinking about our mental health on 17th January this year, but on every day of the year. Depression and other mental health problems last for more than a day. And mental health problems can affect people in different ways on any day of the year.

I hope your day and your week is filled with all of the colours of the rainbow, blue included.

After all, blueness isn’t just for Monday.

Hang in there.

Ellen on the Edge xx