Right so we are in April, the classic “what coat do I take? Do I take a coat? If I take a coat am I going to be too hot later? I’m sweating” month. I fucking hate it.

Let me just say this, whatever coat you take, it’s going to be the wrong choice. We can never fully know exactly what is going to happen, we can’t predict the weather. We can’t predict anything. And I for one, can’t predict how I’m going to feel. You see our heads are even more complex than the British weather (I know, mental).

We brits love talking about the weather, it’s a conversation filler, an awkward chat, and sometimes we just love to bloody talk about it. So why don’t we love to talk about our mental health? Baffling.

I have loads of coats, loads. It’s stupid really, I can only wear one at a time and most of the time, it’s the bloody wrong one. I’m lucky that I can afford different coats for different weathers. But some people can only afford one. Some people can’t afford the choice. Some people cannot afford the help they need when the weather in their head decides to change. And even if they can, they may put on their winter coat in the morning, fit for purpose, stunning. But by the afternoon they are struggling, they can’t cope with the heat, and it’s far to heavy to carry around. But low and behold, they do, they carry that bloody coat around all day, and most people (apart from me), will not moan about it. Some people might even keep their big coat on, even when the weather is bloody boiling.

The other factor here, is that we love doing the thing where we ask people. “What coat are you going to wear? Are you taking a coat?” But the thing is, how the bloody hell do they know, they aren’t going to feel the same temperature that you do, and after all, why should they bloody tell you what to do. It’s your coat, and it’s your body, only you will know. And sometimes you will get it really wrong and you will sweat. We can’t expect people to know how we are going to feel, we must take advice and we must seek it if we need it. But trust me when I say, you know you. You will ultimately do what you think is right. It might take a little while, you will make all of the mistakes and you will be really bloody horrible to yourself. But one day, you will go out, you will realise you were prepared, you took the right coat.

What if it does start raining, you haven’t got a hood… not all coats have hoods. What if you can’t find a coat you like with a hood? What if you can’t find the right treatment to help you when you need it? Sometimes, we really do just have to get wet. It’s not going to hurt or kill you, its going to be very bloody uncomfortable (especially when it reaches your pants), but you will get home, you will dry off. You won’t feel soaked forever. The rain always passes.

What we can do though, is offer to carry peoples coats, offer them our coats if we aren’t too cold. “You have my coat, I’m fine for the moment”. It’s a nice thing to do. Someone you care about, needs that coat more than you do, and you are aware of that. Babes, do this with caution though, you don’t want to give someone your coat on a freezing night if you are then going to freeze to death yourself. We need to take care of ourselves first. We need to make sure we are okay first, because otherwise, trust me, we are going to be absolutely no help to anyone else. It sucks sometimes, and no one wants to see someone they care about go without a coat, but at least if you are warm, you can warm them up later! And yes, we do need to take our own coats, and we need to prepare. But sometimes… unfortunately, nature, the world, and life is never going to go the exact way we want it too. And there will be people there who are going to help, trust me.

The thing is, darling, no one knows. That’s what makes life so bloody hard, but it also makes life weirdly beautiful. We have no idea what’s going to happen later, we have no idea what’s going to happen in a minute… really. We can be as prepared as we like, and we can pay for all the therapy, take all of the medication we want, but sometimes, the storm is going to come. The hot weather is going to come, we are going to realise we brought the wrong coat and we are going to be well and truly boiling, drenched and screwed.

It’s freezing tonight, after a glorious day, thank god I took a coat. You do you babes, you take that coat, you don’t take that coat. Unfortunately, you’re only going to learn the hard way.

Hang in there.

Ellen on the Edge xx