Tag: #mentalhealthblogger

Adulting

Ellen Thomas1 Comment

Romantic comedies are one of my favourite types of movies, but I’ve started to realise how unrealistic their main characters are. They spend all this time falling in love, and of course, have spare time to exercise, cook ultra-healthy meals, work 50 hours a week for their big promotion, have budding social lives, travel…the list goes on and on.

IT’S A LIE.

I mean… the absolute worst thing that happens to people is quite literally aging.

I mean it is for some people. I am a part of that group. In my opinion, I think that adulting just quite literally sucks balls most of the time.

I know there are perks, and for a middle class, white woman I am extremely privileged. I have a roof over my head, a stable job and can afford to eat. I can do what I want, ultimately.

However, there’s just the issue of being an adult. And just because society has dubbed me the title of adult, does not mean I am being an adult.

We have to learn how to manage time and we all know that it is hard sometimes. We have to be able to go to work, do all our chores, socialize and still be able to get enough sleep, and it’s fucking harder than the rom coms suggest. At this point, I already accept procrastination as a friend that I have to follow until the end.

We have to do things by ourselves. We cannot, no matter how much we try, depend on our parents forever. We have to pay for everything, by ourselves. We have to learn how to cook, think about what to cook EVERY NIGHT, pay bills and clean the kitchen 59 times a day because quite literally making a piece of toast makes it look like a bomb has hit it.

I have been struggling so much with all of this lately, I have found it so overwhelming, all of a sudden. I just can’t keep up. About a month ago I went back to my parents for a night… I went home. I cried to my Mum and Dad about how hard I was finding adulting, about how I wish, I could go back, to not necessarily being a toddler or even a young child, but to being a young adult, a teenager. Being looked after and just being a bit more care free. It really devastated me, and for a night, I just wanted to be my parents child. 

Why is there just so much to do CONSTANTLY when you have to be independent?! It’s suffocating at times and the only thing you can do is move on, get used to it, and grab hold of the pleasures of being an adult. I know that in the end you just have to learn to do everything yourself and move on with your life. Life will never feel like easy leisure like it was when you were a kid, and it for sure will never feel like a rom com, but I suppose being an adult does mean that you can create your own little bubble, and decide what adulting looks like for you. And I have to just accept that it’s alright sometimes.

I guess what I am trying to say, is that I feel it’s okay to mourn being a teenager, being a child or just being young. Adulting is fucking hard mate. (I know that being a teenager at the moment involves way more pressure than it did when I was), but I still think it must be easier, right? And I guess thinking that is also ok?

I guess most of all, I just really wish I did not take watching Tracy Beaker every afternoon for granted.

Hang in there adult, we haven’t got this, but we haven’t got this, together.

Ellen on the Edge xx

 

Blueness Isn’t Just for Monday

Ellen ThomasLeave a comment

Blue Monday is, as they call it in America a “PR stunt” that was actually originally dreamed up to sell holidays. (Trivia: Blue Monday was created in 2006). It is a myth, a false calculation based on things like the gloomy weather, post-Christmas debt, disappointment from not keeping new year’s resolutions, dissatisfaction about going back to work and general doom and gloom. Since then it has become a rather tedious yearly PR event, often designed to promote things that are vaguely linked to improving our wellbeing, more often than not with a complete lack of evidence. I have looked it up and you know what… no actual scientific studies have ever backed up any claims about Blue Monday.

The whole notion of Blue Monday, which suggests there is a single day when depression somehow ‘strikes’ more than usual, feeds misinformation around mental illness. The fact of the matter is that people live with depression all year around. It is a serious illness that is a causal factor in suicide – the biggest killer of people under the age of 29, globally.

So why the FUCK (sorry mum), despite the fact I’m an advocate for “loads of days can be hard”, do I always feel this one. Why do people struggle on this day, and every day. Why the hell did I think I was going to burst out crying around 12pm today?! (I don’t know why, and it didn’t last long). Weird, isn’t it. Especially if it’s a PR stunt.

I know why it is though, I think I was just having a wobbly day, I temporarily felt a bit sad and someone naming it “a depressing day” allowed that feeling to take hold a little more.

The truth is that we all have mental health, and whether it is Blue Monday or any of the other 364 days this year; we will all face days when we find it hard to cope for whatever reason. This week, one in six of us will experience a common mental health problem like anxiety or depression. In our workplaces and in our circles of friends, there are people living with mental health problems, or just keeping themselves afloat, whether we know it or not.

The Blue Monday myth – like all good legends – has some elements of truth. We know that some people living with mental health problems find the winter months harder. If the Blue Monday hype has drawn your attention to your mental health, or made you think about how a friend, colleague, or loved one might be feeling then it has done some good.

I know it is pointless to try and identify what the most depressing day of the year is because it would be different for each one of us. As different as each person’s circumstances are. And it is also important to distinguish between temporarily feeling down, which we all relate to from time to time, and experiencing depression or a mental health problem that can be quite disabling for our day to day lives. This is something I could drone on about all day, and probably gets boring.

This year, perhaps more than any other year in recent memory, the need and importance for us all to look after our mental health and support each other at this time, is clear and urgent.

Perhaps the true meaning of Blue Monday is that we all have mental health and that there are steps that we can take on every day of the year to try and protect it. We should not just be thinking about our mental health on 17th January this year, but on every day of the year. Depression and other mental health problems last for more than a day. And mental health problems can affect people in different ways on any day of the year.

I hope your day and your week is filled with all of the colours of the rainbow, blue included.

After all, blueness isn’t just for Monday.

Hang in there.

Ellen on the Edge xx